Tears

All I have been able to do

Lately is to cry

When I get in my rack at night

I cry myself to sleep,

I feel so hurt, betrayed,

violated, angry, fearful

There is so much pain inside

No one knows how much

I am hurting inside,

Always trying to be strong

Trying to keep a brave face

To hide the pain from being

Sexually assaulted six times,

Going through the motions

Trying to hide my feelings

Feeling that I can’t hide

From them any more

Some of the feelings are

Ones that I want to run

And hide from

Too afraid to speak my truth,

Because of the pain, but have

To let the tears come

Afraid of the memories

Afraid of the pain

Afraid of letting the tears come

But deep inside you know

That you need to tell your story

To be able to heal

There is so much grief

So many tears that need to be cried

So sick of people telling you to just

Suck it up and go on like nothing happened

If I could have done that I would have