Dissociation

I want to be in my body,

I want my body to be my home,

I want to feel that my body is safe,

I want to be connected to my feelings,

But I was taught at 11, 19, 23, 25

that my body is not a safe for me to be,

I was taught to disconnect from myself,

To float somewhere far away,

That was the only way I could survive

The pain that they caused.

Now as I continue my healing journey,

I want my body back,

I want to be connected to myself,

I want my body to be my home,

I want to feel safe in my body,

The second I start feeling feelings,

I immediately go away,

My eyes get this glassy look,

And my face gets this blank stare,

Once again I am gone

Trying to not feel what I am feeling,

I want my body back,

I want the memories of what they

did to stop,

I want the flashbacks, nightmares to go away,

I want to live my life

I want my body to be my home,

I want to feel safe in my body.

#Dissociation #PTSD #MST #Listentosurvivors #believesurvivors #writetoheal #speakyourtruth #courage #strength #thebouldersinmylifethatshapedmyjourney

#empowerment #peacefulwarrior