Chronic Knee Pain

Knee Pain please go away,

I cannot take this pain anymore,

You make doing my job of damage control

That much harder and I have trouble running all

Over the ship to do my job of a damage control petty officer,

You make it hard to run and I cannot run on you,

I cannot do exercises on you,

You bring tears to my eyes,

You make me take over

1,000 milligrams of Motrin,

You make me want to stay off you,

You make me use a knee brace

You make me go to the Medical Department to try to Get medical care for you

Only be told, “Here take Motrin.There is nothing wrong with your knee.

You are lying.”

I cannot take this pain anymore.

Knee pain you bring me to the ground,

You have my, total attention,

You trigger memories from

everything that happened

In the Navy,

You bring my, Post Traumatic Stress to the forefront,

You make the tears stream from my eyes,

You make flashbacks come to the surface,

You slow me down and make me listen to what you are telling me.

I am sending you love,

I hear what you are saying,

I am continuing to heal my knee and forgiving myself for all of the abuse,

There was nothing that I could do for two years,

I tried to take care of you,

I would go to medical and try to get care,

But all they ever said was here is Motrin,

Do this physical therapy,

There is nothing wrong with you knee,

Keep pushing through the pain.

I would rub icy hot on you,

I would put ice on you,

I would stay off of you when I could,

I would use a knee brace,

I would cry when

I went to my rack,

I would struggle to make it up the ladder wells,

I did what I could to take care of you,

Once I was able to, I went to a real

medical facility and found out that yes

you were messed up and had to have surgery

to help to heal you,

Part of the bone of lower

leg was taken out and

Four screws put in to realign the patella tendon.

I took care of you and went to physical therapy,

I have continued to go to therapy to heal the emotional damage

that was caused,

Please stop hurting,

I do not know what you want me to do,

I send you love,

I take medicine when you hurt,

I let myself express my feelings,

I talk about the trauma that I have been through,

I rest you when you are really bothering me,

Please know that I will do everything in my power to take care of you

and I am sorry that I put

You through so much abuse.

It was not my choice

#PTSD #MST #Grief #pain #thebouldersinmylifethatshapedmyjourney #writetoheal #speakyourtruth #listen