Betrayal

A poem Written on January 24, 2014

Enlisted to serve my country

to chase a dream

To be part of something bigger then myself

That has the core values

of Honor, Courage, Commitment

That fight the enemy and have each other’s back

I was raped by a third class petty officer,

A crime was committed against me and

Once I made that report I was treated like

I was the one that had committed the crime.

I was told that I was nothing,

That the Uniformed Code of Military Justice did

Not apply to me and

it meant nothing.

I was told that I was lying about what had happened,

That I was the one that had a problem because I was

Drinking and that somehow gave him the

right to rape me,

I was retaliated against and my career was over,

I tried my best to deal with the emotional abuse

and institutional abuse

But that caused me to hate myself that much more,

I started to get into a deep depression,

I started cutting and burning myself to deal with

the emotional pain

That I was feeling.

I had nowhere to go,

There was no way to get away

from the chain of command

That was abusing me even more

They added even more layers of pain, rage, grief, to

The trauma that happened to me.

I know that no one cares.

That no one will listen.

Everyone is protecting

the bastard that raped me

I feel like why did I not fight him and made

him kill me,

Wait, I couldn’t have fought him

because I was intoxicated,

Had passed out from drinking.

I woke up to him being on top of raping me.

The chain of command does not care

They sent me to anger management and wonder

Why I have become even more angry

A crime was committed against me

He forced himself on me

I feel betrayed by him and

the chain of command

Been told over and over and over again I mean nothing.

I am nothing but a walking mattress that deserved to be raped.

We only care about protecting the bastard that raped you

The Uniformed Code of Military Justice and laws mean

Nothing when someone is raped.

We will ruin your career,

Promote and protect the rapist that raped you

And send him to another command so he can continue to rape