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Shine Your Light

In life there are many things that Need light shined on them. In my darkness you shine your light, In my pain you shine your light, When my grief comes to the forefront You shine your light brightly, When anger comes to the forefront, You are there for me and do not judge me when I am angry. When I am sad and isolating, You hold me gently and allow me to cry on your shoulder, When I am triggered, you are there for me Shining brightly and showing me the way out. Your mere pres

Listen

#believesurvivors #listentosurvivors #PASSMJIA

Dissociation

I want to be in my body, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel that my body is safe, I want to be connected to my feelings, But I was taught at 11, 19, 23, 25 that my body is not a safe for me to be, I was taught to disconnect from myself, To float somewhere far away, That was the only way I could survive The pain that they caused. Now as I continue my healing journey, I want my body back, I want to be connected to myself, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel s

Anger, Rage

Discharged from Military since I developed Post Traumatic Stress from being raped, I hurt my knee doing my job, I tried to get care for my knee but was Told over and over again by chain of command, You are lying!! You are faking!! You are not hurt!! Conveniently discharged while rapist is promoted and sent back to another technical school so he can rape over and over again!! Meanwhile, I am discharged and given code of JFT Erroneous enlistment but I have honorable discharge 2

Why

Why? It’s too hard to understand Too hard to comprehend Too hard to deal with Flashbacks, nightmares,betrayal, rage, Replayed over and over again in mind, Do not understand why you would do this, Why the chain of command protects him? Why the chain of command ruined my career? It’s wrong, you knew what you doing was wrong. You knew that I did not consent to have sex With you and you raped me, You took everything that I believed in, Trust, Safety, Honor, Courage, Commitment Br

Invisible

I am a girl that has experienced hatred from men, Have been told that abuse does Not matter since I am a girl and invisible, Have been told that no matter How loud I scream that no one Is going to hear me. That no one cares about what they Did to me, That abuse is fine, That no one cares about what they did to me, Have been forgotten #Invisible #MST #PTSD #listentosurvivors #believesurvivors #speakyourtruth #feeltoheal

Shut Up and Listen to Survivors

You were not there when I was eleven years’ old And a friend forced me to give him oral sex, You were not there when I was choking and crying You were not there when he forced himself on top Of me and did not care that I was crying. You were not there when he threatened me to kill me and my family if I told, You were not there when I was told to just forget about it and move on You were not there when two men raped me in a dorm room at the University I attended, You were not

Nothing Done

I responded to his email on Navy together we served, Thinking that if I got him to admit to raping me, That they would have to do something about it, He straight up admitted to raping me, He said, “You an ugly woman and I do not know why I even messed with you. Taking a woman is something that I am down with. So you remember how..lol. Called NCIS and asked to speak to special agent, Case was reopened again, None of this mattered to the Special Agent Was told we have to invest

Feeling Alone

Feeling alone, Made mistake of trying to reach out to advocate, Was told that she did not care, I was just needing someone to listen, Someone to be there, I am on deployment, Stuck on a huge ship, Out in the middle of the ocean, Feeling alone, depressed, There is no one to talk to, No one that cares, I need to talk to someone, But I will not talk to a male about What happened to me at technical school. The Chain of command does not care And retaliates against me The trained a

The Nightmare of Post Traumatic Stress

The nightmare of PTSD is that one never knows what is going to trigger it. One never knows how one is going to respond in a situation, and I have learned to try to keep my triggers at a minimum level. But there are some things that I cannot control and tried to do the best I could with this particular incident that has thrown me into full blown PTSD since Monday. One would think that reaching out and telling medical professionals your truth would be a good thing. That these m