Search

Feeling Unheard

Feeling unheard, Feeling unseen, Feeling disrespected, Was at counseling appointment, Therapist looked at me and told me to Stop writing my poetry and not to talk about being raped. Writing my poetry is the way I get out what I am feeling, I am not good at talking about what happened, I immediately left my body and shutdown, I came home, got my blanket, turned on calming music and started crying. When therapist said that to me, I immediately heard What Ryan said to me, What m

Dissociation

I want to be in my body, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel that my body is safe, I want to be connected to my feelings, But I was taught at 11, 19, 23, 25 that my body is not a safe for me to be, I was taught to disconnect from myself, To float somewhere far away, That was the only way I could survive The pain that they caused. Now as I continue my healing journey, I want my body back, I want to be connected to myself, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel s

Forgiveness

Forgiveness Forgiveness, One of those things I have heard a few times from different people through my life, Many times I got angry, cried and ignored what they were saying to me, Pushed people away from me, I was not in the place to hear about forgiving myself or them for what they did to me, Now, in this moment, I am ready to forgive myself for what happened when I was 11, 19, 23 and 25, I know that the things that I hold on to that keeps me stuck in pain, anger grief, and

Breakthrough

Thought that I could run away from the pain, Darkness followed me and caused even more pain, Another heinous crime committed against me, More betrayal, More victim blaming, shaming, and feeling lost, Lost in feelings that cut me to the core, Lost in feeling like it was my fault, There are flashbacks, nightmares, fear, self-hatred, I am lost deep inside of myself, You came beside me and helped me know that I am safe, You taught me how to trust someone again, You taught me how

Light in the Darkness

An inspirational poem I wrote after co creating, Service with my friend and mentor Lynda. There have been people put in my life that have been lights in my darkness, They showed me the way back to myself by shining their light in the darkness, They gently guided me onto the healing path when I was lost in deep emotional pain and had no hope, They came beside me to tell me that could borrow there hope until I had my own hope, They told me that I mattered, They cared about me a