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Feeling Unheard

Feeling unheard, Feeling unseen, Feeling disrespected, Was at counseling appointment, Therapist looked at me and told me to Stop writing my poetry and not to talk about being raped. Writing my poetry is the way I get out what I am feeling, I am not good at talking about what happened, I immediately left my body and shutdown, I came home, got my blanket, turned on calming music and started crying. When therapist said that to me, I immediately heard What Ryan said to me, What m

Dissociation

I want to be in my body, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel that my body is safe, I want to be connected to my feelings, But I was taught at 11, 19, 23, 25 that my body is not a safe for me to be, I was taught to disconnect from myself, To float somewhere far away, That was the only way I could survive The pain that they caused. Now as I continue my healing journey, I want my body back, I want to be connected to myself, I want my body to be my home, I want to feel s

Shut Up and Listen to Survivors

You were not there when I was eleven years’ old And a friend forced me to give him oral sex, You were not there when I was choking and crying You were not there when he forced himself on top Of me and did not care that I was crying. You were not there when he threatened me to kill me and my family if I told, You were not there when I was told to just forget about it and move on You were not there when two men raped me in a dorm room at the University I attended, You were not

Nothing Done

I responded to his email on Navy together we served, Thinking that if I got him to admit to raping me, That they would have to do something about it, He straight up admitted to raping me, He said, “You an ugly woman and I do not know why I even messed with you. Taking a woman is something that I am down with. So you remember how..lol. Called NCIS and asked to speak to special agent, Case was reopened again, None of this mattered to the Special Agent Was told we have to invest

Feeling Alone

Feeling alone, Made mistake of trying to reach out to advocate, Was told that she did not care, I was just needing someone to listen, Someone to be there, I am on deployment, Stuck on a huge ship, Out in the middle of the ocean, Feeling alone, depressed, There is no one to talk to, No one that cares, I need to talk to someone, But I will not talk to a male about What happened to me at technical school. The Chain of command does not care And retaliates against me The trained a

Light in the Darkness

An inspirational poem I wrote after co creating, Service with my friend and mentor Lynda. There have been people put in my life that have been lights in my darkness, They showed me the way back to myself by shining their light in the darkness, They gently guided me onto the healing path when I was lost in deep emotional pain and had no hope, They came beside me to tell me that could borrow there hope until I had my own hope, They told me that I mattered, They cared about me a